So, I’ve been told by my partner that if I have a blog, I really should start posting in it. I started out all fired up, but recently I’ve been doing a lot more reading others’ words and thinking than wanting to write. I’m sort of doing my own women’s studies course on my own. I’ve finally started dealing with my privileges (I know, about time!) and that means a lot of shutting up and listening. I’m hoping I’ll be able to make enough progress to be an actual ally and fighter in the battle against oppression. As I am right now, I’m fairly useless.
I’ve had an interesting journey so far in that I’ve naturally become a radical feminist, while still fairly brainwashed into being docile and conforming. Most of my progress, however, has been fairly centered on me—freeing my body and my mind from the patriarchy. I’ve worked through different religions and rejected them. I’ve struggled with (and still do) acceptance of my body and my sexuality. As a woman, I’ve examined the ways women are oppressed, but I’ve done it from the standpoint of a white, middle-class woman. Up until pretty recently, I’ve been dimly aware of my various privileges, but not really done anything about them, just accepted them. A few things have happened in the last year to make me start to open my eyes, and I’m grateful for it. I don’t want to go through life with blinders on. I want to help make the revolution happen, and there is no way white, mainstream feminism is going to accomplish that.
I can credit a lot of things to helping with this eye-opening, but the thing that really pulled it together for me was first, reading Dark Daughta’s blog (www.darkdaughta.blogspot.com), and then reading bell hooks’ “Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center.” This book really pulled it together for me and laid it out: if women of color are the class that experiences the most oppression, it is them we must listen to to formulate and direct the movement. While I can relate best to mainstream feminism because it caters to people exactly like me, the movement itself perpetuates the kind of hierarchical, patriarchal thinking that we are trying to eliminate. While claiming to want to free all women, it has not focused on the poor or women of color who are suffering the most under patriarchy. The answer is not inclusion, where the white feminists who hold the power invite women of color to come in and participate in “our” movement. The answer is to move the margin to the center and listen to their theories, not insist that ours are right. It’s the same thing we’ve been asking men to do, to recognize that their privilege blinds them to the problems of the oppressed. True solidarity means acknowledging the right of the oppressed to dictate the movement, not the oppressor.
This means I’m starting to make the shift in how I read, who I listen to, how I react to what I read. I’m trying to change my reading habits, in books and blogs, away from white- and upper-class-centered feminism. I’m reading the words of the angry and asking myself why they hurt me. In order to progress on my journey, I’m going to get mighty uncomfortable, and that’s good. I also think I need to do a lot more processing before I start interacting seriously, because I have a lot to learn. I do hope to grow enough to be useful, and that it will be sooner or later. I’m determined to do it though. I will also give full credit to those whose words have touched me, because I’m thankful for them. For now, let this blog be a partial map of my journey.
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